That was what I said aloud as I sat at the computer to do this blog. I have started it three times, different topics then stopped, deleted what I’d written while muttering, this is not what God wants.
Well, let me say the plan is to post on Tuesdays and Fridays, and then if I have a guest blogger, or something compels me to add another blog day, I will do so. (By the way, anyone interested in being a guest blogger or regular contributor, email me at email@example.com and we’ll discuss it)
Honestly, I’m not sure what it is I’m supposed to be writing today, I just feel I need to be here. Maybe just to establish a time frame. Maybe to practice discipline. Maybe to lead me to deeper thoughts?
Speaking of thoughts, deeper or not, I sat in on a writer’s webinar today hosted by a well known Christian writer sharing her tips on writing, sharings readings from things she’s written, talking about training for writers, and it all sounded so wonderful in so many ways. But I sat through the whole thing thinking, ‘that’s not me; I can’t write like that; if I started to read that I’d immediately put it down’. But I listened to the whole thing knowing you always get something out of anything, even if it is recognizing there might just be something wrong in your thinking.
That’s what I ended up with. A sense that my first thought was to judge because the style of writing she proposed was not what reached me. The Lord quickly showed me that He had used this woman, and many she mentored, to make great and positive impacts in the lives of thousands, if not millions, of women over the last twenty years.
My apologies to you God; my apologies to those who hosted the webinar. I was then led to dwell on my own motives. Why do I write, really? What is it I want to share? Is there something from my past that in sharing I can help someone dealing with similar issues? Do I continue with fiction as well as non-fiction? Do I switch to being a support system for other writers? Do I stick to sharing God in as many ways as He makes Himself known to me as I walk this road with Him?
The answer? A simple – Yes.
I have never fit into any mold. None of us have, really, but some have specific trends in their giftings that clearly say, “this is me!” Nah, not seeing that in my life. I’ve always been a little of this, little of that type of person. I guess the writing will continue in that way.
So some days this blog will be about writing. Some days it will be about sharing the Lord’s work in my life. Some days I’ll be writing letters to my friends, which is what today’s blog feels like. I’m just glad the Lord is allowing me to continue with this life of writing that I love. I hope beyond hope that people who read what I write can say, ‘Yes!” or quietly laugh, or frown and say, “I need to think about that.”
In my world faith equals trust. In Him, I can and do trust that whatever I write His love is behind it.
So, I’ll see you Friday, if not before. It feels good to be back.