Pensive

I’m finally sitting at my desk in my den, study, office…whatever you call it, the cat on his bench next to me soaking up the sunshine from the window, and I’m thinking about the direction the Lord has for me. I need to make some decisions, so I’ve been moving furniture instead. Every other day. Carefully so as not to reinjure the shoulder, but something to keep me from sitting down and dwelling in directions that don’t accomplish anything. Yes, I’ve been praying. And yes, I “think” God has given me direction. But it means some significant changes, and I can’t help but wonder if, at my age, with the issues that come with getting old, do I want to take a new step? Notice – do I want, or does He want. Sigh. I think the difficulty I’ve had with writing has been because I’m over-cautious about the possibility of using my writing to not have to make any decisions. I have stories to tell, they are fun to write, they effectively occupy time and thought, and…and…and… How much glory is God receiving? As I said last week, I’ve considered changing this blog. In its simplified form, I don’t have the flexibility to do what I used to do. I had considered starting a vlog, especially when the hands aren’t as cooperative as I like, but in all honesty, after some twenty-plus years of blogging on my faith, maybe it’s time I do other things. But the fact remains that even if I struggle a lot or a little, sharing some of that shows other believers that they are not alone in what they deal with. That God still loves them. That He still wants a consistent conversation with them. Still wants a deep relationship with them. So, I keep praying. I keep having blog conversations with you. If scripture speaks in a specific way to me, I’ll share. If God has a word I know He wants me to share, you’ll see it here. And, when I finally find the courage in Him to make that decision, I don’t doubt you will all read about it here. You are loved, my friends! – Vicki